The Social Dilemma

Is social media a cause or a cure for our pain?

A photograph of people using social media on their laptop and cell phone. Photograph by Austin Distel on Unsplash.

Americans are a group which values their freedom and independence. Independence is a wonderful privilege that many of our ancestors lacked. Some view this freedom as an opportunity to make our own decisions, while others prioritize using their freedom to be lone wolves, following their desires and shunning social connections. Some people who frequently travel or have high stress jobs may prefer the lack of social connections. However, even though it may be beneficial for a few, many find the impersonality of our current relationship communications styles to be cold and disheartening. This lack of social warmth leaves many people often feeling lonely.

Loneliness is an epidemic in our society. According to a survey recently published in NPR (National Public Radio), “More than three in five Americans are lonely, with more and more people reporting feeling like they are left out, poorly understood and lacking companionship,,,” Loneliness is terrible for your physical and emotional health. It can lead to health conditions such as depression, high blood pressure, and Alzheimer’s Disease. Loneliness can be defined as “sadness because one has no friends or company.” Loneliness differs from simply being purposely isolated as it is a state of sadness, rather than an enjoyment of self-time and freedom.

How would you know if you are lonely? Here are some symptoms:

• No close or important people in your life
• An inability to connect with others around you
• Overwhelming feeling of isolation regardless of where you are and who is there with you
• Feeling like the responses to your efforts are underwhelming
• Socializing is exhausting

Today we are in a world where we can socialize with almost anyone at any time instantly through the internet. Websites such as Twitch, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and others allow us instantaneous communication, but many people today view them with suspicion.

Why are tech firms viewed with suspicion you ask?

• Many websites use our information for their own purposes
• Political discussions can sap community spirit
• Feelings of inadequacy seeing curated posts of other people’s “best lives”
• A lack of attention to other areas of your life due to mindless scrolling

If loneliness is on the rise and technology has severe issues does it seem like we have reached a rock and a hard place situation or a catch-22? Not necessarily. If technology can be used appropriately it can be a major benefit to cure loneliness.

1. Only put information on social media which you would have no problem sharing with others in real life. It can be easy to assume that we are anonymous behind our screen and keyboard, but if we are consistent in our lifestyle and behavior both online and in real life there should not be any worry of information or activities being revealed in which we would not normally engage.
2. Only engage in as much political discussion as is beneficial to you. If you can discuss in a healthy manner, do so. Try to avoid any discussions which only resort to name calling and personalized attacks.
3. Realize that most people only post a highlight reel of the best moments of their lives on social media. It can be easy to think that we are viewing the real life of everyone else, when in reality it is simply the carefully curated version of their lives that they have chosen to present to impress others.
4. Work to create a life that you love for yourself offline. You can do that by doing everything possible to fulfill your dreams, indulge in hobbies and activities which you love, and try to maintain as many fruitful relationships as possible. If you are filling your life with things that you enjoy, it will be far more difficult to fall into jealousy traps when viewing others’ fabricated lives.
5. Set a time limit on your usage. Only use it for a predetermined amount of time and do not allow it to interfere with your other activities. If you have succeeded in building up a life which you enjoy you will have a hard time finding extensive time for social media because you will be doing so many other fun and interesting activities. If you live a fulfilling life it will likely have the fringe benefit that you are the person other people are jealous of on social media.
6. Look for commonalities with other people online. In today’s culture, sometimes with very valid and important reasons, people are very quick to determine that someone is not worthy of their time and friendship and the relationship is quickly discarded. While there may be legitimate reasons to create boundaries between yourself and others, can you imagine the possible benefit of engaging with someone who thinks, feels, or acts differently from you? You may change your thinking, appreciate a new way of living, or in the most Machiavellian of senses, have the opportunity to change their thinking to your perspective. None of these opportunities are possible if these people are no longer in your life.
7. Work to prioritize real-life relationships. While some people thrive in a solely online environment, many others would trade a thousand Facebook friends for one in person. Try to seek out others with whom you can have meaningful relationships and connections with online and try to meet them for a meal, a shared activity, or even just a walk. Many social networking sites such as meetup and bumble bff can help you to transition to real life friendships with people you met online. The human connection enjoyed during these encounters can help us to feel more connected, less anonymous, and more valued than we may feel when screens are separating us.

Conclusion: The 21st century has brought many advantages to us including instantaneous communication, a plethora of online opportunities, and the ability to socially network with people around the world in an instant. However, these opportunities can easily consume us and lead us to both social and soul agitation if they are not used responsibly. While it can be easy to assume that the correct answer is to disengage and avoid the pitfalls of social media, the dangers of remaining isolated and apathetic are far more damaging to our health and our spiritual and emotional wellbeing. If we instead use our freedom for a positive purpose and follow the seven steps outlined here to social media success we can not only fill our soul’s need for communication and connection, but we can also do so in a way which benefits ourselves and builds a kinder and friendlier world within which we can engage. As writer Vesta Kelly reminds us, “snowflakes are one of nature’s most fragile things, but just look what they can do when they stick together.” Alone we may be isolated and in pain, but together we are living our best life and we are a force to be reckoned with. Take the first step to a better connected life today with these seven helpful social media usage tips.

Sources:

https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2020/01/23/798676465/most-americans-are-lonely-and-our-workplace-culture-may-not-be-helping

https://www.cigna.com/individuals-families/health-wellness/chronic-loneliness

https://effectiviology.com/dangers-of-social-media/